Think and Grow Rich Napoleon Hill
Top ten book for me. Hill spent years collecting Andrew Carnegie's thinking and wrote it down. The section on why leaders fail is worth the whole book.
Resources
This isn't a reading list to make me look well read. It's what I reached for when I was trying to put myself back together... plus a few things men in my groups brought back and said were worth it.
Start here
Most guys already know the answer. Read these and notice which one you don't want to look at.
Are the things that used to be automatic gone? Sleep, workouts, phone, food?
Do you dread Monday, and have you stopped believing that's ever going to change?
Are you physically home but not actually there?
Is money the thing you avoid until it wakes you up at 2am?
Is it something you'd say you have, but couldn't say you've leaned on lately?
Know yourself first
Before you change anything it helps to have language for how you're actually wired. Both of these take under an hour.
Formerly StrengthsFinder 2.0. Tells you what you are naturally good at instead of what you are bad at. I use this in every group I run.
Any decent one will do. The point isn't the label. It's noticing the patterns you have been fighting instead of using.
Books
Short list on purpose. These are the ones I've actually gone back to.
Top ten book for me. Hill spent years collecting Andrew Carnegie's thinking and wrote it down. The section on why leaders fail is worth the whole book.
The one that started it. I picked it up feeling completely stuck in a job I dreaded, and it was the first time I saw there was another way to think about any of it.
Why the habits you lost went quietly, and how they actually come back. One at a time.
For when everything feels important and nothing is getting done. What's the one thing that makes everything else easier?
For the guy who is busy every day and can't point to anything he built.
Hard to read this and keep blaming your circumstances. That's the point.
Watch and listen
Old talks, mostly free on YouTube. When I was at my lowest I made myself watch one every morning. It didn't fix anything on its own, but it moved the needle on wanting to try.
Not advice. Just covers of songs that move me. Sometimes it's joy, sometimes it's therapy. Watch on YouTube
When it's more than a book
I waited over a year to go to counseling after I lost my brother. It's the thing I'd take back if I could take one thing back.
If you're reading this and something in you already knows, don't do what I did. Ask your doctor for a referral, ask your pastor, or search for a counselor in your area. It's a normal thing that a lot of us should have done sooner.
If you're in crisis or thinking about hurting yourself, call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Any time, day or night.
Written by a guy who's still doing the work, not one who finished.
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